FAMILY MANAGEMENT
The challenges of parenting a child with ASD can feel overwhelming. Each day is spent engrossed in the child’s health, development and education, keeping impossibly tight schedules, dealing with therapists and school teachers, and handling confusing and disruptive behaviors, all the while trying to nurture other children, tend to relationships with a spouse and keep some sembelance of mind and spirit intact. Dealing with these challenges becomes more manageable when there are solid family management strategies in place.
Creating a Parenting Plan
· Involves collaborative discussion between spouses;
· Dividing chores, tasks, and responsibilities in a reasonable way; and
· Creating a balance in family life which encourages attending to the pragmatic and emotional needs of all members of the family – providing time for the child with Autism and his or her siblings, providing couple time and providing time for yourself.
Handling Conflict between Spouses
· Conflicts naturally occur within all relationships and are important to be able to move a relationship to another level;
· Conflict resolution helps the couple to more effectively problem solve and feel closer to one another by dealing with difficult emotions and different perspectives in a more open and productive way; and
· Conflict resolution involves:
o Listening periods – no interruption while each spouse expresses his or her point of view. This replaces the verbal attack and defend cycle which leaves a couple stuck with an unresolved conflict;
o Compromise solutions formed and a plan to proceed developed;
o Sometimes important to agree to disagree and move along; and
o It is essential to acknowledge each spouses' role in developing and perpetuating the conflict.
Developing Plans to Spend Quality Time with Other Family Members
· All members of the family need to feel loved, supported, attended to, and validated;
· Parents need to plan for special time with all family members. This is important not only for the child with Autism but for typical siblings, parents and perhaps extended family members as well;
· Special time should be scheduled so that siblings and other family members can look forward to it and know that the time is inviolate and will be saved for them; and
· Weekly family meetings - structured activity where all members of the family have an opportunity to share their lives (external and emotional) with each other. This is a very useful technique to promote quality time.
Ways for Parents to Take Care of Themselves
It is essential for parents, especially the parent primarily responsible for child rearing, to establish time for him or herself. This time, be it seeing a film, taking a walk, playing an instrument, doing exercise, reading a book, creates a balance and a respite from the rigors and demands of parenting and allows the parent to return refreshed and to be a better parent.
Courtesy of Theodore M. Roth, Ph D, 369 Ashford Avenue
Dobbs Ferry, New York 10522, (914) 674-0573, drtedroth@verizon.net
All Rights Reserved
|